Based on a true story, with a little spices to make it fun.
Some days back, a close friend and I decided to skip work and school and just stay home to rest, I was in my room till I decided to buy water, that was when I saw PHCN officials cut my wire, "chai! Bad market" I thought,
"Bros, how far now you didn't even ask if anyone is at home before cutting the light"
"Nobody wey get work suppose dey house by this time" the dark pot bellied one replied , I felt insulted, before i knew it, they got into their truck and zoomed off. I was furious, I had given my landlady N1,000 for the month of June, if she paid the light bill, our light won't be cut by the second of July. I forgot about the water I wanted to buy and walked into my neighbors house, their generator was on.
"Cube, how far, abeg I wan charge" I said, he gave me that look like, "don't you know where the socket is" and continued staring at his phone, he was watching a movie, I quickly plugged in my phone and joined him to watch, it was a series movie, the fan is the room was mad, blowing away the anger of PHCN, I was already dozing off..
BAM!!! Someone kicked the door open,
"All of you stand up! " the intruder said, sleep left me faster than bolt!
"My name is detective Johnson, but my friends call me pastor, you too can be my friend if you corporate" he said, flashed an ugly smile, and a barely visible ID card.
"OK sir" I said calmly, I was surprised at how calm i sounded, like these men had the ability to shoot us and claim we were robbers, but maybe I just got used to them stopping me anytime I pass Tanke junction.
I heard the others trying to force their way into the other rooms, the occupants had gone to school, but they still wanted to break in
"Are you boys into G?" Pastor asked, I knew better than to play smart and ask what G is, God forbid I let my village people use me to chop slap,
"No sir" I replied, cube replied too,
"Confess now oh!" His voice was louder,
"make them bring their phones Oga, we no get time, but I sure say this one na yahoo boy!" He said pointing at my friend, what they didn't know was cube was one of the best actors in his department...
He got into action
"Me!!! My mother is an evangelist, she has said if any of us should smoke and drink or do yahoo, God will make our lives miserable" I was expecting a slap on his face but none came, lucky bastard..
"Unlock your phones my friend!"
"Sir my calibration is bad" cube replied, he pressed the lock button and started fiddling with the lock screen, the officer bought it.
Now it was my turn, "Oya you, unlock your phone" I obeyed, he took it and went through my WhatsApp chats , he scrolled from top to bottom and still nothing,
"What do you do for a living, see my son, before you say what you will regret, I'm a very understanding detective, my spirit is telling me there's something hidden in this phone and I will find it" he said, still scrolling.
"Sir, I market IJMB " I replied,
"Who's this girl" he asked, zooming her picture,
"Her name is faith, she's my junior cousin"
"Na fine girl now, she don ripe" he replied, I was disgusted. He handed my phone over to me
"Make you boys find us coke money now, this work no easy" the other officer said,
"Sir, your reward is in heaven, thank you for helping us stop crime" cube replied.
They left. The end.
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